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#4854454 Aug 26, 2011 at 01:49 PM
747 Posts
Why is this public?
Because an apology means nothing is there's no witnesses.


tldr
I'm an asshole, so are you, but I like you and we have a lot in common so lets stop being douches to each other since it affects the people around us and the guild we both love.


Short story long
I just wanted to step back from the recent vitriol that has been flowing freely between us and actually try and sort this out. You see while we've never really been buddy buddy (even back in Vanilla you were always one of my harshest critics when I was GM ... but to be fair I've never heard you say a good thing about any GM so I guess I can't take it to heart) ... I've always felt that there was some level of mutual respect between us ... and while I still feel that I maintain that on my end of things you've certainly become quite hostile towards me given the opportunity. I've had more than my share of that kind of crap in this game and I don't want to let it go on so I've seriously stepped back and tried to figure out the situation and what's going on. Here's my conclusions.


#1. You're right. I can be a condescending asshole.
I hope you understand this is definitely NOT my intention, but it's definitely how I can come across. I think it shows up worse when dealing with you directly but that's more because of the aforementioned erosion of respect between us and less because I'm intentionally trying to be an asshole to you. Regardless my intention in ANY discussion is to discover a solution and sometimes that does require shooting down ideas and/or clarifying other ones but ultimately I definitely can be far too combative or acerbic in my delivery and this results in stifling rather than encouraging open debate. Yeap, this is all bad and flies directly in the face of what I want (a constructive and open debate) and something I definitely need to address and I thank you for calling me on the carpet with this one. I do in fact love discussing/strategizing/optimizing things on the forums/facebook and my demeanor is sabotaging any chance of that happening.


#2. I am definitely a narcissist as well.
I consider myself better than everyone at anything. Call it ego, narcissism, or self confidence ... in the end I truly believe I am capable of doing anything better than anyone else, given that I put my mind to it. Think Agnew is a good rogue? Fuck that loser, I'll show him how to rogue ... me with my 25 hours played is gonna teach his 400 days played a thing or two!

While that fantasy may in fact be largely out of proportion with reality, it makes me a fucking a great player because I pour all of myself into my performance. As you well know being the best is only very little about what buttons you push and has a large amount to do with the setup/interface/knowledge part of the game and I never EVER stop tweaking that. Am I the best player in this game? Nope. But it doesn't matter because I never stop trying to be.


#3. I still act like I run this place, and that pisses you off
Mostly because I have endless energy, but also because I'm the kind of person who sees a problem and fixes it, I definitely continuously overstep my bounds in HnA. I am not the GM anymore, fuck I'm not even an officer, but I still routinely send messages to officers and the GM filling them with earfuls of my opinions on whats wrong and what needs addressing and blah blah blah. In the end I'm at least half right with most of my points of view but conversely the only reason why this guild even exists right now is because Agnew is GM and not me and the only reason why we even have more than one raid is because I'm not an officer without any real power to use to piss everyone off.

That said I am never going to stop trying to help this guild, regardless of my role in it. Whether you want to admit it or not, in Vanilla I put this guild on my back and through little more than a big ego and a loud mouth I forged us into a raiding guild and I will never EVER stop feeling like HnA is my baby. The only other person who understands that feeling is Richard and every couple of months I'll launch a text at him basically just saying "yeah man, we done good." I apologize that it may seem like I am overstepping my bounds and I am very careful to try and clear everything I do with Agnew or the officers, but in the end I'm the only one who wants to actively recruit so I'm the one who does it. It's just how it goes in a guild like this.


Conclusion
So regardless I do want to thank you for having the balls to call me on the carpet over my bullshit. I'm not perfect, and I am definitely trying to fix my flaws. I have a ton of respect for you, even if it doesn't show. I dunno if you remember the recommendation I gave for you when you were applying to get into ascendance, but I wasn't blowing smoke up your ass. Both as a person and a player I truly do have a lot of respect for you ... in large part specifically BECAUSE you don't let my or anyone else's bullshit slide. Don't ever change that. I need it, Richard needed it, Agnew needs it.

That said you're not without your flaws either (you're every ounce as neurotic as I am narcissistic) ... and while our flaws are uniquely suited to clash in quite bloody and fantastic fashions I encourage you to not let it break down like that. We have more in common than not and largely we want the same things ... as two of the oldest bastards in this guild (Timmar doesn't count, he's like gandalf old) I'd like to think we can move past our bullshit without letting it affect everyone else around us.

At any rate, thank you for the honesty, sorry for my bullshit ... I'm always working to overcome my problems so please don't let me off the hook but also know my heart is in the right place even if my actions say otherwise.

-Kurtis
"If you want to be the best you can be at wow you will need to mouse turn and keybind, end of story." - Lore
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#4854596 Aug 26, 2011 at 02:23 PM
272 Posts
I'd like to apologize to Agnew. You're not a slave driver. Hell, you're not even a real GM. You're a great figurehead though - thanks.
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#4854833 Aug 26, 2011 at 03:09 PM
95 Posts
I honestly didn't know anyone took Stawr seriously.....
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#4855251 Aug 26, 2011 at 04:59 PM
56 Posts
Blame the healers, it seems to resolve all issues big and small.
Minecraft and its terrible graphics.

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#4856707 Aug 27, 2011 at 01:31 AM
452 Posts
Basically, it went like this.

Aaron: I have an idea that may work, here you guys go! Even though I raid with SS, I wanna help you guys if I can.

Kurtis: So what's up?

Aaron: Kurtis, you try to do too much. Should have others help you with some stuff.

Kurtis: It's stuff I should be able to do, with practice. If I can do it, we save DPS to concentrate on other areas, which is a win overall.

Aaron: You sure? This might help you out while you get everything down and under control.

Kurtis: Yeah, I'm sure. Thanks though.

But since both of you are slightly retarded and asshole-ish when it comes to each other, you didn't see that. Everyone else did.
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#4858074 Aug 27, 2011 at 11:09 AM
146 Posts
I feel like I missed something epic where I could have pushed both of you a little bit into an all out war resulting in the dissolution of the guild. Having missed that opportunity makes me a failure at life..... sigh. Regardless, your both fucking douche bags and should be locked up together for all eternity for my amusement.

/hugs and kisses

Malcowvictusasshole

PS: Am I the only one that thinks the reason they argue is because they are secret anal lovers? If so, Eysis.... step the fuck off my man.
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#4858102 Aug 27, 2011 at 11:17 AM
92 Posts
You're all cocks.
Azriel, et al...
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#4859857 Aug 27, 2011 at 07:57 PM
150 Posts
Queers

No offense Agnew.
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#4865822 Aug 29, 2011 at 07:31 AM
272 Posts
#4858074 Malvictus wrote:

I feel like I missed something epic where I could have pushed both of you a little bit into an all out war resulting in the dissolution of the guild. Having missed that opportunity makes me a failure at life..... sigh. Regardless, your both fucking douche bags and should be locked up together for all eternity for my amusement.

/hugs and kisses

Malcowvictusasshole

PS: Am I the only one that thinks the reason they argue is because they are secret anal lovers? If so, Eysis.... step the fuck off my man.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6wS5xOZ7Rq8&feature=player_embedded
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#5011701 Sep 29, 2011 at 06:52 AM
106 Posts
I think the secret lovers theory may be accurate :P
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